8.29.08 - Out of Extraordinary

You know something's wrong when you're restless.

Something's out of place or its ordinary configuration, and your normal routine is upset; in fact, the things you would usually do don't seem so enthralling or even worth while. Guitar, in my case, has hopefully, temporarily, lost its seemingly eternal wonder as well as recording songs, which also lack a certain passion that otherwise flows from my gut. Even things that appeal to me during times of boredom and listlessness such as reading and writing aren't near enough to keep me going through the day. Food won't properly satisfy you as it has before, and the incessant heat wave certainly doesn't help one's demeanor by any stretch of the imagination. Everything has the air of disjunctedness, as if the whole world skipped a beat somewhere down the line, and the only way to get back into the groove of things would be to jump start with a hypersized defibrulator. Or maybe it's just you who's out of step? You, whose own distraught self can't help but see the negatives piercing themselves through and between the lines between a good day and bad.

And all this because she's gone off to school, where her life and yours are no longer as entwined as you once knew, as you always loved, as you never fully appreciated. It's not to say that she's gone for good, but there's indeed something missing, maybe not from your heart, or from your head, just... just from your own living presence, like half of your being was placed into her and there's no getting it back. And not until you can reunite will you ever be whole again. Whole, together, in love and in union. Oh, to be whole again, to be with you, to hold you and have you forever, believing as if the day had never met the night that fateful hour of creation. God, oh God, she is forever part of me, and her parting is a beautiful sadness.

You must know, her presence is truly breathtaking, but in her absence, life is out of extraordinary.

"Breathe in for luck, breathe in so deep, this air is blessed, you share with me.."
-'Hands Down' Dashboard Confessional