Barely Love

You know that feeling when you live inside
someone that you cannot recognize
I hate it

The metaphors only hypothesize
but nothing's real as right before your eyes
I'll take it

A moment right before you take a leap
as if your heart is improvising beats
It's alarming

the crowd will cut her with its crooked teeth
but I can't help it given what I see
don't harm me

and so if this is love
I hardly know it
and so if this is love
It's barely true

you share more than a broken glance between
it's said that clothes can never go skin deep
let's prove it

our souls pretend as if they're something clean
the truth is that I've happened, once, to dream
about you
about you and me

and so if this is love
I hardly know it
and so if this is love
It's barely true to me
you've ruined every inch of me
forgotten
and there's only what you've built on top of it

i'll take the best of you and disregard
'cause we are our flaws, just like the stars;
imperfect
and for the record I'm a broken record, talkin' 'bout
love and it's funny cause I don't find it funny
at all

you know that moment when you live inside
a second slivered up a thousand times
you keep it

and it's "Fate! Fate!" that has brought you two
but this predisposition be the death of you
receive it

and so if this is love
I hardly know it
and so if this is love
It's barely true to me
you've ruined every inch of me
forgotten
and there's only what you've left, a scar, a fee

Incomplete thought - revised

When you change your eyes like that
I can’t help but wonder,
what’s wrong with the brown in your irises?
thoughts race and we've come to compliments
still wondering why
you feel the need to put on a mask
those see thru cataracts
can change how you’re seen but now do you really see?

There’s more to this than any fashion
each day you take the elevator
It's just a temporal obsession
by chance I took the elevator

Incomplete thought - revised

When you change your eyes like that
I can’t help but wonder,
what’s wrong with the brown in your irises?
thoughts race and we've come to compliments
still wondering why
you feel the need put on a mask
those see thru cataracts
can change how you’re seen but now do you really see?

There’s more to this than any fashion
each day you take the elevator
It's just a temporal obsession
by chance I took the elevator

1/5 Life

You live and you breathe, and still think you're alive
for nothing's more poignant than braving a sigh
the happy you wear's not the happy you seek; it's a lie

Next day, you'll have toasted to travels and trunks
Your advent'rous side hungers with wanderlust
It's something that's proven, but not with results that you sought

The days and the nights fill themselves with the drinks
and it seems the lady doth protest shethinks
The brink becomes more than idea and fruition's come to

And in your regret you find no more relief
than what you began with, than what you could breathe
it's probably due to the unfortunate self you've deceived

Your location change doesn't alter the truth
of the future that someone had promised to you
not once did the thought cross your mind that what you have accrued is not nearly enough to renew
a cause for oneself that is nobler than thou
but will most likely do for a spot in the crowd
so then live and then breathe in a time that is other than now
before questions like when where and how overwhelm
before you step down for the next to take helm
before your existence is defined at the ring of a bell
it's not war
but it's hell
plead the fifth of your life

Things I want to do

I want to watch my fist go through a wall and never reach the other side,
watch the ripples in the stone, like rubber, undulate like grass in summer wind

I want to steal the skin that, perfect, clings onto your bones as deathly grip
why prolong what’s sure to happen to a beauty in the night on false pretense

I want to watch them writhe as guilt betrays them so the grays would fill the cracks
where black and white could not be met and thieves with golden hair will ‘brace the dying flight

I want to see my lies reveal themselves to all whom I had secrets kept
in hopes that, rearing ghastly heads, they spoke of insolence, egregiousness abhorred

I want to meet the love that never was or is or will be, nothing more
and hold her close and tight only to say but once, “Lenore, I love you nevermore”

Chasing Moths (Dated December 27, 2008)

It was my fault
trying to be unknown,
I’m on my own again.
Keep chasing moths;
they’ll eat away
at your nostalgia for good.

For goodness sake
I hope I won’t unravel, hope that I won’t break
The years of mountains broken in days

It’s in my head
in the back right next to all your treachery
The dear dishonor you laid on me

And so I left,
for a time
you held my desecrated heart
And like a flag
I’ve been captured
and stolen so no one ever could claim

Charlie v. the Frustration (Dated December 17, 2008)

Charlie was sitting on a bench in a park
a park unkempt and broken
by the children who’d grown
by the sun that had shown
it’s teeth to the grass
and burnt the green yellow

Charlie was thinking, on the bench, of a girl
a girl who’d sent for a cab
for Charlie to ride in
for his soul to writhe in
as if he would wring himself
blood and all
for her and no one else

Charlie was breathing on the bench with the world
on his back and stuck in a lyric
“No there is no other one
I can’t have any other one
Though I would, now I never
could with one;” a cycle
of rivers flow into the sea
hung in the strings

Charlie was leaving his soul on a bench
for the girl who made him think
of the murdering sun,
of the blood that was wrung,
of the lyrics that won
him over in time
and the cab would leave him
as a stitch in time;
without yours, without mine.

Better get up on your run, Charlie.